There have been some very good things in all of the last three days, but looked at in totality they have been pretty crap.
There is something I have been very angry about, but such is the way of things that I can't tell you what it is. It turns out that my anger is invalid, misplaced, or out of proportion, or something. So I can't tell you what it is about because then I would risk offending someone for something that isn't their fault. That's the theory anyway.
My problem is that currently I lack the tools to work this stuff out for myself. I am likely to reach erroneous conclusions based on misinterpreted data, or I am simply unable to set things into context or proportion in an appropriate way. I am overly reliant on others to interpret things for me, and also to communicate in a meaningful and timely way.
All of which makes me wonder whether I am expecting too much of people. I've learned to assume that if I always initiate contact with others and they seldom or never initiate contact with me, then there's not a genuine relationship there - what there is, actually, is a dependency. But what if that assumption is wrong? As a result of that I've stood by and watched dear friends disappear out of my life. What happens when they come back?
Maybe you're right... perhaps they are 'fair weather friends' who don't want to avoid hearing about other people's problems. That is their problem.
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