Painful decisions

After the past week I've had to make some painful decisions. I'm sad about it but they are necessary choices in the circumstances.

One of the choices is to discontinue this blog, at least for a while.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for all comments.

Bye for now.

Anger management

There have been some very good things in all of the last three days, but looked at in totality they have been pretty crap.

There is something I have been very angry about, but such is the way of things that I can't tell you what it is.  It turns out that my anger is invalid, misplaced, or out of proportion, or something.  So I can't tell you what it is about because then I would risk offending someone for something that isn't their fault.  That's the theory anyway.

My problem is that currently I lack the tools to work this stuff out for myself.  I am likely to reach erroneous conclusions based on misinterpreted data, or I am simply unable to set things into context or proportion in an appropriate way.  I am overly reliant on others to interpret things for me, and also to communicate in a meaningful and timely way.

All of which makes me wonder whether I am expecting too much of people.  I've learned to assume that if I always initiate contact with others and they seldom or never initiate contact with me, then there's not a genuine relationship there - what there is, actually, is a dependency.  But what if that assumption is wrong? As a result of that I've stood by and watched dear friends disappear out of my life.  What happens when they come back?

On failing to buy a TV

I set myself a tough assignment today. I have been thinking for a while of replacing my ancient TV (a giant metal sarcophagus for a cathode ray tube) with something that weighs less than a Honda Civic. So I decided that today was the day.

This was in itself a step forward. Proactive planning is not something I have been good at lately and following through on a plan is something I have been even worse at. I was therefore pleasantly surprised to find myself in Currys looking at TVs.

Unfortunately I had failed to take into account just how noisy the place was and how much visual disturbance thirty or forty TV screens can create. So although I managed to locate the set I was looking for I had to leave the store before I could seal the deal.

Went home, had a coffee, calmed down, came back.  Eventually found an assistant to talk to.  It turned out I couldn't get the set I wanted and none of the others was quite suitable for one reason or another.  So still no TV.  Still felt like an achievement though.  Will try again tomorrow maybe.